I haven’t been posting for a few weeks. I am having a meaningful, joyful and challenging pilgrimage. There is so much happening, and yet I find I’m not ready to unpack too much of it, because I’m still processing it all. And processing for me is slow but deep, and it takes time before I’m able to share sensibly. At the same time, I have a longing to share this journey with my community, and this has placed me in a quandary. On the one hand, I’ve not wanted to turn this pilgrimage into a travelogue, because to do so would drain the power and richness of this journey – the story might be interesting, but it would not be very authentic, truthful, or helpful. Writing a travelogue also frames a pilgrimage as a linear process that unfolds neatly as the miles are covered. And this just isn’t how pilgrimage works. A friend reminds me that a true pilgrimage – which I’m sure you at Epiphany now know – is about encountering obstacles, endeavoring to overcome the obstacles with my own power, and failing that, turning to God and asking for deliverance from or transcendence over the obstacles. But there persists that longing – that deep ache to stay connected with my tribe.
So here is what I believe I can do by way of this blog:
I have encountered God in the people I’ve met and stayed with, and in the times and places of resurrection along this journey. I have also encountered a profound and disturbing absence of God in some of those I’ve met, in myself, and even in the landscapes I’ve traveled. What I can say about both of these extremes, is that I (and we) have some power of choice about who we want to be in this life. For me, I am living into a commitment to be someone who trusts that 1) God is always up to something good in every way possible 2) and that everyone is endeavoring to doing the best they can. In the next few weeks, I hope to share parts of my pilgrimage (so far) in a few stories about where I have found God’s grace, and where I am still waiting for God to bring something good out of those dark places I have encountered in others, in the world, and in myself.
This is what I hope to share, and I ask your prayers (really!) for the willingness to tell them imperfectly, simply and honestly.